I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I fill condoms, not promises.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
