You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
