Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
