And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
