I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
