She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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