I want to make a zoo with you.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
