I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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