Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
