All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
