the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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