I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
