So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize