Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
