it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
