im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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