I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
