I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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