i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He better not be in your backpack
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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