Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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