He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
