a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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