i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize