I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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