i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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