I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
