They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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