it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
