oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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