I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
