I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
