Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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