In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
