two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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