Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The air taste purple.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
