No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
