no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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