Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
