let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
