I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
