Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
