im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
