dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
