Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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