Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize