His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
