I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
