Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
