I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
