Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
