cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize