pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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