you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
