Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize