What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
