HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
