Will you blow on my dice?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
