the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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