I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
