$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize