i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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