I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Duck Duck Cougar?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
