I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
