Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
false alarm, still single
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
