lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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