I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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