I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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