he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
