So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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