You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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