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So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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