i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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