once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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