Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
