I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
