Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
