friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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