I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
